Bad at Yard
We are bad at yard. Amazingly astonishingly alarmingly bad at yard. This is especially embarrassing since our lot is tiny. Like 35 feet across, 100 feet deep type tiny (and that’s total…the house plops down in the middle and eats up most of that space, the driveway and garage get a chunk too). And to make matters worse, our across the street neighbor is freaky good at yard. It makes us look extra bad.
We used to at least have the best of intentions. We talked about planting blueberries and thought about flowers. Yeah. Not our skill. All plans ended with blisters and tears and drinks. We’ve now given up even pretending we’ll get the hang of it. The backyard has an awesome patio, other than that, it’s all shame and drama.
So, I’ve decided to look into enlisting the services of folks who know more about this than I do. We’re having someone from the company that put in the patio come by and talk to us about making the rest less embarrassing. Note my goal is not ‘fancy’ or even ‘pretty.’ My goal is ‘less bad.’
I find myself feeling insecure about this. I worry that either there will be ridicule and shame for the current state of affairs (justified, but unpleasant) or there will be some sort of test that will require me to already know what sorts of plants I want where. I know this is very unlikely to be true. Companies rarely find it useful to ridicule their customers or make them feel stupid. Yet still, I worry.
My plan is to say ‘see that tree? I like that tree, please don’t kill it. Also, see that awesome moss growing on the patio? Please don’t kill it either. I’m fond of it. The rest, you can take a flame thrower to it for all I care, and put in whatever you want. I’d like it to look less bad when you’re done. And don’t expect me to remember the names of things or to weed. Mkay?’
Does this sound like a reasonable plan? Has anyone ever hired yard help before? Is it worthwhile? Is this the time of the year to do it? Any tips for fully conveying just how little I know about plants and how little I can be counted on to manage to do? Somebody tell me not to be scared by this…
Here’s my opinion, for what it’s worth: Landscaping companies understand that lots of their clients want low to no-maintenance plants. Do not be embarrassed. You are doing the right thing by telling them how much effort you’re willing to put into the yard (none). (As an aside, I do the same thing with my hair stylist. “I’m never going to use a hair dryer. What can you do with that?” There’s no use pretending I’ll do something I won’t.) If anyone gives you guilt, do not hire them. There’s nothing wrong with feeling the way you feel about your yard.
This is absolutely a good time to hire someone, so go forth! If you feel you must say something to them besides the very sensible things you’ve listed in this post, you can say, “I’d like low to no maintenance native plants.” Then you sound like you care that they’re planting things that really belong in your part of the country.
You might also check with them and see how much it would be for them to come back for a few hours in the fall or spring (or both) to spread mulch or compost and do a little trimming and weeding. Keep us posted!
I’m pretty bad at yard also….which is interesting b/c my dad is so good at yard that when he was in between accounting gigs, he did landscaping for folks as a job/for fun. People who are good at landscaping are happy to have the rest of us because then it gives them something to do and we appreciate them and pay them. I think now is a good time to do it. I think you’ll be happy. 🙂 Be honest about your willingness or lack thereof to weed/maintain/fix. You are basically hiring a hairdresser for your yard. 🙂 hmmm. my mom is a hairdresser and I’m not very good at fixing my hair either. I think I see a theme. Good Luck! I cant wait to see! 🙂
Bonnie is right. Things that grow local don’t require nearly as much watering, protecting from cold climate, etc. It’s like when knitters talk to non-knitters. Knitting isn’t their thing and that’s ok. If you were to make a sweater for a non-knitter you’d ask about color, basic fit, and so on to figure out the perfect thing for them. So long as you can say things like low maintenance, and no, I prefer the blue flower you should be good to go.
For a bunch of years, my husband and I ran a specialty plant nursery and did local landscaping — planning, installing and maintenance. It was always helpful for the customer to be honest about their plant preferences (or lack thereof) and/or knowledge (ditto). And knowing that they were folks with black thumbs, or with little interest in the whole endeavor other than the place looking decent, gave us useful clues as to how to proceed. The toughest folks to deal with were those who didn’t know much, but thought they knew what they wanted, and later decided that it was all wrong — and it was all our fault.
So be straight with them, and if they can’t deal with that, don’t allow them to touch your place.
I have used people to do yard for me. It is a huge relief! I figure they do yard, I do yarn. Works well.
I agree with Bonnie. Think about doing natural landscaping. after it has been established it is pretty low maintenance. And many of our native plants are very beautiful.
I put in a natural garden at our cabin because I wanted to be able to go for the weekend and not have to mow and weed and work in the garden. During the week I don’t have to worry about my flower beds getting enough water or any thing.
It did take my neighbors a little time to get used to it since they all have golf course lawns. But a real turning point was when the local garden club asked if our yard could be part of their garden walk 3 years ago.
My yard attracts a lot of hummingbirds and butterflies and best of all I don’t spend my weekends working in it. Another benefit is these’ weeds’ are great for natural dyeing. I have fun experimenting and dyeing my yarn.
I don’t have a yard, but my mother has taken master gardening classes, and she still calls people for help sometimes. I know she always asks whether a plant can become “invasive.” This is often flim-flammed under the term “naturalizing.” It sounds so easy and good until the invasive plant invades every other plant’s space and beats them at the genetic fitness game. For three years I got bi-weekly updates on her bishop’s wort eradication project. It was war.
Both sections on each side of the front of the house have been done by landscapers! It was worth it. Now I just weed each year. They helped me organize so I have something blooming from Spring to Fall. You could hire someone to weed each Spring then get the pellets called Weed & Feed. I agree w/Brenda. You need to decide whether you like the look of completely full beds or individual plants spaced apart. If you get a plant that “takes over” the bed it can kill the other plants. I like them spaced. Can’t wait to see what you come up with!