To The Gentleman To My Left At The Concert
Dear Sir,
You sat to my left at the concert in Toronto on the 14th. I noticed you seemed to be a bit perplexed by me and my actions during the concert. Indeed, perplexed may not be a strong enough word. You appeared downright disturbed. To help allay your concerns, I thought I’d answer some of the questions that seemed to occur to you. So, without further ado:
1) Knitting.
2) Yes, really.
3) A sock.
4) Again, yes, really.
5) Because I like to. Because they are awesome. Because it’s my job. Because it helps me respond with more grace to the antics of others.
6) Indeed, I do think it’s an appropriate thing to do at a concert.
7) For a variety of reasons. Namely, because it is quiet. The sound of yarn against yarn or the sound of needle on needle is far quieter than, just for example, the braying of your ringing phone and your loud conversations. Because it is discrete. My knitting does not emit light, unlike (again, just for example) your phone as you send text message after text message. Because it can be done while remaining within the confines of my allotted seat. My knitting can be accomplished while keeping both my elbows and my knees to myself, unlike (once again, just for example) your phone conversation, which seemed to demand a truly impressive amount of gesticulation (hint, your conversational partner can not see you).
So sir, please do not be alarmed. And don’t worry, knitting is easy to learn. If you’ll just put your cell phone away, I’ll be happy to show you how. In no time at all, you too can be behaving appropriately in public.
Sincerely,
The Irritated Knitter to Your Right
Oh my, you take the words right out of my mouth. Can’t tell you how many times people have driven me crazy with their I-pods, phones, etc. And they look at me with MY knitting. . .
Sometimes I wish I could live in a sound proof bubble.
Other times I wish I could wear blinders like horses did.
Other times I just suck it up and don’t start fights because that is what would happen if I could speak my mind.
Most times I just stay home.
You make me laugh.
Love it!
Perfect phrasing! I may have to copy your words to a notepad and keep it in my purse to hand out at the appropriate times : )
Oh, fabulous! Steenking cell phones! Actually, I suppose it’s not the phones themselves, but the rude people who seem to think their every thought is suitable for public broadcast.
Knitters are much more civilized, in general.