Blatant Falsehoods

I’m good at math.  I know it’s common for knitters to shy away from math, but really I don’t mind it.  On occasion (and under the influence of an adult beverage or two) I have been seized by the need to understand a particular math problem and have gone and found the calculus textbooks and the graph paper and the calculator and spent a happy hour figuring it out.  So I tend to take it rather personally when math lies to me.

That swatch-turned-mitt is 32 stitches and 8 inches around.  I measured carefully.  I can do that math.

32 stitches / 8 inches = 4 stitches per inch

Now, armed with that information, it should be quite simple to get to a 24 inch hat.  I can do that math too.

24 inches * 4 stitches per inch = 96 stitches

So you can, perhaps, imagine my fury when my 96 stitch hat (on the exact same needles, with the same skein of yarn) was nowhere near 24 inches.  I even took it off the needles and put it on a bit of waste yarn to make sure it wasn’t just looking small because it was squished up on the dpns.  Nope.  Not even close.  And it’s not a matter of blocking, as the gauge didn’t actually change when I blocked it.

It has been set aside while my rage abates.  I’ll take it up later, but for now it needs a time out.

Editing to add:  Anyone have a Pittsburgh yarn store recommendation?  I’m going to be there tomorrow and would love to swing by somewhere.